"Onomastics?" He craned his head to read the dust jacket.
"Why not call it 'name-ology'?"
"Because 'name-ology' is stupid, and not wholly Greek or Latin."
"With all due respect, yes, I believe it is. Can I help you?"
He shrugged, made a moue of noncommittment, and sat on the edge of my desk. "What's your name mean?"
"'God is gracious'. Although I believe you'll find many do."
"What's my name mean?"
"Your name means 'God is gracious'. I told you."
"Can I help you?" I repeated, trying to level a glare at him over the top of the book.
"Okay, people, I have some new rules. First, the pirate jokes are to cease and desist."
There were groans from the room in general.
"Does that mean you'll stop wearing the coat, then?"
"My coat does not in any way resemble a pirate coat!"
"You said rules and first, are there others?"
"Yes. From now on, I will be referred to as Captain Handsome."
"Who do I get to be?"
"Nobody else gets to be anything. Okay, well, obviously if I'm Captain Handsome, there will be a Lieutentant Lovely. This is to be decided by video game tournament. Except you, you're Captain Handsome's Personal Gentleman's Gentleman Slash-- well, no, 'personal gentleman's gentleman' covers everything."
"How about cabin boy?"
"I said no more pirate jokes!"
"But it's all we have!"
"We could make ninja jokes."
"Okay, now that everyone's gathered, I'd like to make one thing clear. I will neither 'get you high tonight' nor will I 'take you to your secret island'. Please refrain from sending inter-office memos stating otherwise."
That's all I got. Figured I'd type it all out, dunno what's to be done with it.
These may someday be part of a fic or fics. Not sure.